On mothering myself into menopause - Part 2
More helpful tools to assist your journey into the next phase
This is Part 3 of a four part series on menopause. If you’d like to catch up, you can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
For the next lot of support services that I found really helpful to assist me in my menopause journey, I wanted to share with you about hormones, health measures and heading off burnout before it engulfs you whole.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (or Menopausal Hormone Therapy)
It’s not for everyone and there are definitely situations in which it can be downright dangerous, but for me, if I didn’t have this amazing wonder patch in my life I don’t think I would be here. As mentioned in my earlier post, I was so afraid of taking any hormonal treatment after my surgical menopause, due to cancer scaremongering research that’s now been discredited, that I just didn’t take anything at all. I felt like the only choice was between cancer or dementia and that was not a choice I wanted to make.
Then after months of suffering through numerous overwhelming physical and mental symptoms, I had to go for yet another scan and was prescribed some Ovestin cream to use beforehand (IYKYK). Holy hormones Batwoman, it was like night and day! That tiny bit of topical oestrogen had such an amazing positive effect on my mental state of mind (which up to that point was tending towards depression and suicidal ideation), that I got in touch with my specialist the very next day, she ordered up a batch of their finest patches for me and I’ve never looked back.
Without HRT patches - 30+ hot flushes a day, insomnia, aforementioned mental health battles, memory loss, brain fog… I could go on.
With HRT patches - hot flushes gone, regular sleeping patterns, increased mental wellbeing (which can also be attributed to meditation, therapy and everything else mentioned in this series of articles), memory improvements and much more clarity of thought.
In cases of premature menopause, studies have found that starting HRT as soon as possible lessens the risk of dementia, so if you find yourself in this position definitely talk to a medical professional about HRT. The patches are generally accompanied by progesterone and/ or other hormonal treatments, so it’s really important to go and see a doctor about what will work best for you and keep going until you get the right mix. I started with Utrogestan (micronised progesterone) but ended up getting a Mirena which I found came with far less side effects than the daily tablets.
Being Active
It cannot be overstated how important it is when you go into menopause to keep yourself moving. Changes in your body in the years around menopause may increase risk for certain health problems. Low levels of estrogen and other changes related to aging can raise your risk of heart disease, stroke, and osteoporosis. Sounds fun, doesn’t it! 🤪
I’ve always loved moving so I didn’t have to convince myself to get active when I went into menopause, but I did have to change the way that I do my moving. It’s not just any old moving that menopausal people should do (although any moving is better than no moving right), but there needs to be specific moving to keep your bone density strong amongst other important things. Who knew that your bones would become brittle when Estrogen left your body?! Not me and it freaked me out when I had to go for a bone density baseline scan after my surgery, so that they could see what my skeleton was up to and have something to compare it to later.
Doing weight bearing exercises is really important to maintain good bone density (the earlier you start the better), resistance training like swimming has a huge number of benefits, walking helps to improve cardiovascular health and then I’m trying to balance all that worthy workout stuff with a good dose of activity that brings me joy. Somatic dance movement is becoming quite the thing at the moment and I’ve participated in two sessions in the past two weeks, which have been so liberating. Nothing like free dancing in a room full of strangers to melt away insecurities!
Somatic Movement helps you creatively engage with emotional, physical and cognitive processes through dance and movement. It allows you to safely explore and express what you may not be able to fully put into words. It guides you in creating a felt sense of safety within your own body – befriending your body with self-compassion rather than distancing from it with self-criticism. Your body can be your greatest teacher when you take the time and space to learn.
The Grind Stone
I have always been a chronic overworker. Having been an entrepreneur and business owner for over a decade, it is very hard to slow down when you are the only one (or one of the only one’s as was later the case) that keeps the ship running. When my menopause hit, it was in the middle of the COVID pandemic and I was working on large scale projects that involved hundreds and occasionally thousands of businesses.
When you don’t have the back up of an employer or organisation that has a menopause policy, sick leave, HR support and all those other wellbeing measures that being an employee gets you, it’s really scary to look at an overstuffed workload and imagine how you’re going to get through it all with your sanity intact, especially if you have something like an emergency surgery suddenly whamo you out of the blue.
In my case I had to keep working all the jobs and doing all the things, until I kept having more and more health issues, then eventually full on burnout and a mental health diagnosis. I’m very fortunate to live with a supportive partner who I also work with, but if I was on my own and having to deal with this, it would be so incredibly challenging.
I have to really check in with myself and be careful with my workload these days so I don’t tip myself over the edge again. If I could go back in time, or if I was still the sole employee of my own business, I would be saving and/ or investing as much as possible to create a back up fund and would seriously consider getting income protection insurance, as that would have provided a very helpful financial and psychological buffer. I’d also have a good hard look at what projects I was taking on and consider if they were really worth burning out for!
Community
As an 87% introvert, I’ve always felt far more at home in my mind than in the company of others. However, I somehow ended up throughout my life working on projects in highly social environments and partnering with thousands of people over the years. I do like people, I swear, but my battery gets drained so quickly when I’m constantly surrounded by others. COVID was a blessing in some ways for us introverts, as we could all hide in our houses, under our duvets, turn our Zoom call videos off and get some respite from the incessant socialising that our world seems to get great pleasure out of.
I was fully onboard with this way of life and spent the best part of two years working from my couch with my laptop balanced on a pillow on my knees, with only my partner and my dog for company, imagining that I could live like this forever and be completely content.
But then, once I got through the worst of my menopausal challenges and became more levelled out, I started getting this itchy feeling that I had to be around other people, especially groups of women. It felt like a very primal urge, which I believe has a lot to do with moving into a new phase of life, away from the patriarchal societal expectations of marriage and motherhood (neither of which I’d indulged in anyway) and towards wildness, freedom, edge dwelling and expectation smashing in the company of other wise women.
Aside from my dear lifelong childhood friends, I’ve found amazing communities over the past few years who have been instrumental in me getting out from under the duvet and back into the company of others, but more on my terms this time. The Vedic meditation community, Manzana’s inclusive co-working community, the Fashion Revolution NZ crew and the School of Modern Meditation have been wonderful medicine for a shy gal who’s been battered around a bit.
“Women may be the one group that grows more radical with age.”
~ Gloria Steinem
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